How Far Would You Travel to See Your Dentist?
I don’t know about you, but if my hairdresser moved an hour away, I would make the drive to see her. Maybe even two hours away. Even with six dollar a gallon gas.
Same goes for my dentist. But not just any dentist – or hairdresser.
It has to be someone special.
In a recent New York Times Modern Love piece, Hillery Stone wrote about “The Dentist Who Treated my Divorce.” While reclined in her dentist’s chair, Hillery had broken down, ears filling with tears. She told the hygienist, “I’m sorry. I’m getting a divorce.” When the dentist was summoned, she told him, “It hurts. Everything hurts.”
He tried to diagnose her pain and soon realized it had nothing to do with her teeth. In a startling display of humanity, he said, “My wife left me and our sons when they were 2 and 4…I thought I would die, too. But I didn’t.” He counseled Hillery to seek professional help, therapeutic and pharmacological.
This relationship between patient and dentist is an intimate one, quite possibly one of the closest in healthcare. You see each other on a regular basis, probably more frequently than you visit your family physician. The dentist is inches from your face, close enough to see your pores and freckles. You open your mouth, vulnerable yet confident that she will not hurt you. You give your dentist the gift of trust.
But is your dentist deserving of that trust? What is it that makes a dentist special?
Your dentist treats you as an equal partner in your dental health.
His role is to diagnose, provide options and information. He should be willing to answer questions and address the pros and cons of any healthcare decision.
In return, your role is to accept and welcome the fact that he has expertise in his field. With an open mind, listen to what your dentist has to say.
Your dentist has great technique.
She is gentle and your mouth does not hurt for days afterwards. She’s skilled with the injection and you hardly feel the shots. You always (99 percent of the time) get completely numb. And if you’re not, she’ll know it by your reactions alone – and stop to ensure you’re comfortable before proceeding. She works efficiently yet thoroughly.
You never feel like you’re being upsold.
This was one of the top complaints when a new patient appeared in my office. Their previous dentist was constantly trying to sell them something. Obviously your dentist has overhead expenses, including potentially significant student loans, and needs to make a living himself. But it doesn’t mean that you should be paying for unnecessary procedures.
On the other hand, just as many restaurants now add a health surcharge to cover your waiter’s health insurance, don’t balk when your dentist implements a PPE surcharge to help defray some of the costs of keeping you safe during the COVID pandemic.
Your dentist keeps current on new technology, findings, and treatments.
It’s a delicate balance between learning about new materials and techniques versus falling prey to unproven claims. Be wary of the dentist who is first in line to try anything new. Conversely, the dentist who never updates equipment, or even office décor, may not be totally invested in his profession.
Personally? I’m drawn to any professional who remains curious, regardless of the stage of his career.
Realize, though, that technology and new equipment represents a sizable financial investment. For example, that three-dimensional CBCT x-ray machine may aid in diagnosing the up-until-now undetectable crack in your tooth, but it comes with an additional cost.
Respect and loyalty are reciprocal.
Find a dentist who takes you seriously and listens to what you have to say. When you have feedback or a complaint, he acknowledges it.
Understand that people are allowed to make mistakes, even in a professional capacity. And sometimes bad outcomes occur. It doesn’t mean that your dentist did anything wrong.
Your dentist sees the bigger picture.
She knows that your mouth is connected to the rest of the body. Conditions in your mouth (that may have nothing to do with cavities) will affect your overall health. These may include gum disease, gastric reflux, or a crowded oral cavity that contributes to sleep apnea.
He recognizes that dental treatment is placed into the mix of competing life obligations. It’s not that you don’t want to fix your tooth, but your child’s tuition may come first. He’ll work with you to find a way to make your mouth healthy.
You and your dentist share a human connection.
Like Hillery’s dentist, he understands her pain even though she says, “I have at times seen my life as one long dental problem.” When she went back to the dental office months later, he patted her on the shoulder and simply said, “You got help. Good.”
